The Vegas Conjugality
by WeirdMisty
Summary: ON HIATUS When the boys drag Penny to Vegas for a sci-fi convention, she expects the drinking and the gambling. The husband, however, is a surprise. Sheldon/Penny
1. Chapter 1

When Penny awoke, the first thing she became aware of was the long arm draped over her chest. She peeked under the covers and stiffened as she revised that thought; there was a long arm draped over her _bare_ chest. Biting her lip, she willed herself not to look at the man sharing her bed, instead hoping to remember the events of the previous night without visual aid.

...Nothing. She felt a tiny headache bubbling in the back of her head, and it occurred to the blonde that she'd probably been drinking last night. She was lucky not to be suffering a hangover, but Penny couldn't help but think that she'd rather suffer the pain of a hangover than wonder what might have happened the previous night. Sighing, she turned to the man beside her, pulse quickening as she wondered whether she'd even recognize him.

She needn't have worried. Or rather, now was the perfect time to start worrying. The lanky brunet draped across her, peacefully slumbering, was painfully familiar. Which, Penny decided instantly, was a serious problem. Her breath caught in her throat as she stared at Sheldon Cooper, and she wondered if she was somehow still drunk. She couldn't decide which was harder to fathom; the idea that she'd slept with _Sheldon_, or the idea that Sheldon had slept with _anyone_. Penny bit her lip. While it was impossible to deny that she was not wearing a shirt, she realized with a small amount of relief that she was, in fact, wearing underpants. _If I don't remember what happened last night,_ she thought hopefully,_ then who's to say that anything actually did?_ Swallowing hard, she pulled herself into a sitting position, delicately removing Sheldon's arm from herself. Hand shaking, she gently prodded Sheldon's shoulder. "Sheldon," she whispered, "wake up."

"Danger! Danger!" Despite the severity of the situation, Penny couldn't help the smile that fought its way onto her mouth as Sheldon shot up, his eyes wide in panic. Hadn't he reacted the same way the last time she'd woken him during the night? He was nothing if not a creature of habit.

"Calm down," Penny hissed.

Sheldon's head snapped over to face her, and he paled. "Penny, why are you in m—" He stopped cold as his eyes darted around the room wildly. His ashen face took on a peculiar shade of green as his gaze returned to Penny. A dreadful, awkward silence hung in the air as the two simply stared at one another, before Sheldon finally broke it. "This is your room." Though he stated it as fact, his eyes were pleading, as though he hoped for some sort of assurance that he'd gone insane, and was not, in fact, anywhere near Penny's hotel room. She found herself hoping something similar.

"Y-yeah," she stammered, her mouth dry. She glanced down, anxious to avoid his eyes, and she realized that her breasts were uncovered. For a brief, absurd moment, she wondered if there was any point in covering them, as he had certainly seen them by now (she ignored the part of her mind that suggested he may have done even more than that last night). But then she decided to cling to what was left of her sanity, and she pulled the blanket up in an attempt to cover herself.

Sheldon flushed as she did so, and Penny wondered if he had somehow not noticed her nudity until then. He looked down at himself, face reddening further as he took in his own bare chest. Penny was tempted to point out that there was nothing wrong with a guy having a bare chest, but then she remembered that he was _Sheldon_, and even waking up in the same bed as him wasn't quite enough to convince her that he was human, let alone a _guy_. She chased off those thoughts as she realized that he hadn't moved since covering himself. "Sheldon," she began tentatively, "are you okay?" There was no reply, and he continued to stare ahead blankly, not acknowledging her words or the concerned look she gave him. Penny's anxiety increased. "Sheldon, did you he—"

"I heard you." He slowly turned to face her. "I just don't know how to answer that question."

Penny stared at him. When had he ever not known the answer to a question? Even when faced with a personal or emotionally subjective matter, he'd always rattle off some scientific non-answer in order to evade the question. Yet she had just heard with her own ears a ready admission that he had no answer. Her trepidation increased, and Penny wondered if she even wanted an answer to her next question. "Did we..." she trailed off, hoping that she wouldn't have to finish the question before he answered it.

"Yes," he answered without hesitation. _Oh, crap._

Penny sucked in a deep breath as Sheldon once again turned away from her. "Are you sure?" she croaked. "I mean, just because we're in bed, it doesn't necessarily—"

"I remember," he stated bluntly.

"...Oh." Penny fidgeted. "I... wow, kinda awkward, huh?" Sheldon glanced at her, eyes narrowing.

"Calling this situation 'awkward' is akin to calling Superman 'strong', Penny. Surely you can do better than that."

"Forgive me for not thinking of a more colorful word," Penny spat back. "I guess I was a bit distracted by the fact that we _slept together_." Sheldon winced, and Penny's expression softened. "I'm sorry, I just... well, I don't really know what to do here."

"Nor I," Sheldon confessed, mouth quirking downwards in a thoughtful frown. "This is certainly not a situation in which I expected to find myself. I'm quite unaware of the protocol."

Penny stared up at the tall genius as a dreadful thought entered her mind. "Sheldon, sweetie... this wasn't your first time, was it?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Your question is vague. Are you asking if this is my first experience with intercourse? Or perhaps the first time I've woken in the bed of a friend I had not expected to bed with? For all I know, your question could be referring to my experience with yourself, specifically. Of course, if it's the last option, the question in pointless."

"Wait, what?" Penny blinked.

Sheldon sighed and shook his head. "Never mind. It doesn't really matter which you were asking, as the answer is the same for all of the options. Yes, this was in fact my first time."

A lump formed in the throat of the beautiful blonde, and she suddenly felt queasy. "I-I'm so sorry," she stammered, casting her eyes down.

Penny was startled when a hand slid under her chin, cupping her face and pointing it back upwards. "Your apology is unnecessary," Sheldon said softly, eyes intense. "Apparently, your inebriation last night temporarily impaired the functionality of your hippocampus, or you'd remember well enough to know that, at the time, I was as willing as you to pursue the opportunity. While I'm certain I would not have made such a decision were I not suffering from acute alcohol intoxication, I readily acknowledge my own actions in this scenario."

Penny swallowed, and was about to accept his words and try to leave it at that when a glint on his finger caught her eye. "Uh, Sheldon... what is that?" Confusion momentarily crossed the physicist's face until his eyes followed her gaze, alighting on the gold band wrapped around his ring finger. Startled, he pulled his hand away from Penny, bringing it up in front of his face to examine the ring more closely. Penny's nausea returned in full force as she watched her companion's face contort in shock.

"Penny!" She jerked back, startled by the insistence with which her name was spoken. "Give me your hand."

"Huh?

"Now!" Sheldon hissed. Nervously, Penny complied, holding out her right hand. Sheldon let out a sigh of annoyance. "Your _left_ hand!"

Penny's eyes grew wide as she realized just what was insinuated by his question, and she placed her left hand in Sheldon's. She froze as a small stone twinkled up at her merrily. "No way," she choked out. _This can't be happening. This CAN'T be happening. _Her breathing quickened, and she began to gasp in short, ragged bursts. Dots swam before the pretty blonde's eyes, and a heaviness began to creep up her spine, until she was swallowed up in blackness. Unconscious, she fell forward into her husband's arms.


	2. Chapter 2

Sheldon stared at the woman who had just fainted in his arms. He knew that there was probably something much more productive he could do than gape at Penny, but in the wake of what he'd discovered, the physicist was frankly surprised that he himself had not passed out. "Absurd," he muttered. "Outrageous. Completely unacceptable." He sighed, reminding himself that examining the situation wouldn't change it. _Clearly, the observer effect doesn't apply,_ he thought derisively. Sheldon shook his head and willed himself to deal with the situation at hand.

The best way to begin, he decided, would be to go over what he knew. He considered the facts of the situation as he understood them. _Penny and I awoke together in her hotel room after coitus. She does not seem to remember the act. We are both wearing what appear to be wedding bands, suggesting that we participated in a wedding ceremony in our inebriated state._ Sheldon paused to stare once more at the ring wrapped around his finger. It was a traditional wedding ring; a simple gold band. He carefully raised Penny's limp arm to examine her ring. A gold ring, thinner than his own, adorned with a small white stone that flashed colorfully as he moved Penny's hand. Either a diamond or a fairly good imitation. Sheldon gently set Penny's hand down and looked at her face once more.

"My wife," he whispered. The words felt so alien as they rolled off of his tongue. And yet, there was something about referring to Penny that way that made his hands clammy and his throat dry. Swallowing hard, he focused his attention on the most immediately necessary task: waking Penny.

"Penny." He gently nudged her shoulder. "Penny." Another nudge, this one harder than the last. "Penny," he murmured a third time. Her eyes fluttered open. "I'm relieved to see you awake," Sheldon said as calmly as he could.

"Did I pass out?" Penny asked as she pulled herself into a sitting position. Sheldon nodded. "How long was I out?"

"Only a few minutes," Sheldon responded. "I believe the cause was psychological."

"No shit," Penny muttered. She stared at her wedding ring. "What the hell happened last night?"

Sheldon was silent as he contemplated the question. "I'm not sure," he admitted after a moment. "I don't remember getting married." Penny's eyes grew wide, and Sheldon realized that he was the first to actually state out loud what had happened. He cleared his throat noisily. "It seems best if we determine what happened before deciding on a course of action."

Penny nodded numbly. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense." An awkward silence settled over the pair, as neither one was really sure how to progress. However, just as the discomfort in the room was about to reach an all-time high, a knock on the door startled both occupants.

"Penny! Are you up yet? We're gonna head out for day two of the convention in a bit." Sheldon bit back a groan as he recognized Leonard's voice. He turned to Penny, who looked frightened.

"Crap!" she hissed. "What are we gonna tell the guys?"

"I don't know," Sheldon whispered back. "If you want me to prepare a convincing lie, I'll need sufficient time to organize the details."

Penny sighed and rolled her eyes. "Just a moment!" she shouted, rolling out of bed. She slipped into the bathroom and emerged a few seconds later, wrapped in a complimentary bathrobe. Tying the sash around her waist, she hurried to the door and cracked it open, poking her head out. "Sorry, I just got up," she breathed.

"Do you wanna come with us to check out day two of the convention?" Leonard asked. "We'll wait if you want to get ready." Sheldon slid out of bed and grabbed his discarded pants from the floor, listening to the exchange with bated breath. He hated the idea of wearing the same clothing two days in a row, but since this wasn't his room and he certainly wouldn't fit into any of Penny's clothes, there wasn't another option.

"I, uh..." Penny faltered. "I'll catch up with you guys later. I think I partied a little too hard last night, y'know?"

Sheldon snorted as he pulled the jeans on, then clapped a hand over his face. "What was that?" Leonard's voice asked.

"N-nothing!" Penny answered a little too quickly. "I didn't hear anything. What did you hear?" Sheldon pinched the bridge of his nose. Penny was painfully bad at improvisation. How did she ever expect to become an actress with performances like this?

"Uh, never mind..." Sheldon held back a sigh of relief as Leonard dropped the subject. He grabbed his Flash t-shirt from under the bed and stood. The long-sleeved shirt he'd worn under it wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Hey, have you seen Sheldon anywhere? He didn't answer when I knocked on his door. I don't think he's in his room." Sheldon froze, his relief vanishing as quickly as it had come.

Fortunately, Penny seemed to have recovered, for she didn't miss a beat. "I haven't seen him since last night," she lied smoothly. "Don't know what to tell you."

There was a pause, then Leonard sighed. "I hope he didn't get into any trouble. You guys were both drinking pretty hard last night. You seem to be okay, but I don't even want to think about what Sheldon could have gotten himself into. You know how he is when he's drunk."

Sheldon's knuckles whitened and his grip tightened on the shirt in his hand as he stared at the door. Penny let out a brief laugh. "Oh, I'm sure he's just fine," she replied, glancing back at the anxious theoretical physicist with mild amusement. "Who knows, maybe he even got lucky."

Sheldon ground his teeth together as he pulled the shirt over his head. When Leonard left, he was definitely going to have to have a talk with Penny about the purpose of lying. As he pulled his head through the collar, he heard Leonard laugh. "Come on, Penny. This is Sheldon we're talking about. The day he has sex is the day I'll eat a gallon of ice cream." Sheldon glowered at the door, making a mental note of his friend's statement. Penny snickered and muttered something about grabbing a spoon. "You say something?" Leonard asked.

"Nothing at all!" Penny responded cheerily. "See ya!" With that, she shut the door in her neighbor's face and turned to Sheldon, who was now pulling his socks on. Laughing, she plopped down on the floor beside him, earning a strange look from the tall scientist. "You know," she began, grinning impishly, "it'd almost be worth it to tell him, just for that."

Sheldon inexplicably found himself smiling, having forgotten his intent to chastise the quality of her lie. Instead, he replied with bemusement, "Yes, almost."


	3. Chapter 3

"We need to decide what to tell the others." Penny glanced up at Sheldon as he stood, following suit a moment later.

"You mean you do," she responded, toying with the sash on her robe. Sheldon narrowed his eyes. "I already told Leonard a perfectly convincing story," she explained. "I'm covered. You can figure out on your own what you wanna tell the guys. You don't have to drag me into whatever convoluted lie you cook up."

Sheldon sighed. "Be that as it may, it will hardly be the end of this. Supposing that I do fabricate a believable story, you and I will still be married. Where do we go from there? Do we tell Leonard and the others? Do we take this secret to the grave? Surely you realize, Penny, that I am not good at keeping secrets."

The blonde sat down on the edge of the bed and stared down at the floor. "You can't honestly be thinking about telling them, can you?" She stared up at the scientist. "They'll flip out over this. And this is really _not_ something any of them need to know, is it?"

"Perhaps not," Sheldon replied after a moment. He glanced around the room. "Penny, did you bring your laptop?"

Penny frowned. "No, why?"

"Because," Sheldon answered, "It would be prudent for me to remain in your room until we are certain the others have left. If I were spotted leaving your room, it would destroy the credulity of the story you gave Leonard. If your laptop were here, I would be able to occupy myself by optimizing its functionality."

"Oh." Penny chewed her lip. "How long d'you think you should stay?"

"Half an hour should be sufficiently safe," the genius responded. He looked about the room. "There really isn't anything to do in here."

"Nope," Penny agreed with a shrug. Silence fell over the room as the two occupants looked one another, before Penny began laughing. Sheldon eyed her in confusion.

"What are you laughing at?"

"If anyone had ever said that one day I'd wake up as Mrs. Sheldon Cooper, I would have told them to lay off the drugs. But now, less than an hour after I find out that that actually happened, we're sitting here trying to come up with something to do."

"Correction," Sheldon interjected. "You are sitting. I, as you can plainly see, am standing."

Penny threw her hands in the air in disbelief. "Oh, for the love of— you know what? Never mind, Sheldon. I don't even know why I bother talking to you sometimes."

Sheldon huffed at her. "There's no reason to get testy just because I pointed out a simple fact, Penny."

"There was no need to point it out!" Penny retorted. "It was a freaking figure of speech!"

At that, Sheldon fell quiet for a moment before mumbling, "In that case, I extend a formal apology for my correction."

Penny's eyebrows shot up. "Seriously?"

Sheldon sighed. "You know that I am unaccustomed to apologizing, Penny. Please do not make this any more difficult."

Penny grinned. "Alright, fine. Apology accepted." She put a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "Seriously though, you gotta admit, it's pretty weird, right? I mean, you and I trying to find a way to pass the time after getting married?"

The lanky physicist gave her a strange look and his eye twitched. "Are you trying to suggest something?"

Penny's mouth curled down in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You make continued remarks about our marital status and lack of activity when, if my understanding of conventions is correct, the most typical activity for the recently espoused is intercourse."

Penny's jaw dropped and she let out a tremendous guffaw. _"You think I was propositioning you?" _She buried her face in her hands as her laughter became a full-blown roar.

Sheldon shifted uncomfortably. "You weren't, I take it."

The blonde shook her head, willing her laughter to die down enough so she could speak. "Sweetie," she managed between gulps of air, "how could you possibly think that?"

Sheldon stared at Penny as her laughter tapered off, though the mirth remained in her eyes. Her response had been extremely off-putting, but he wasn't really sure why. It wasn't as though he'd been hoping to copulate with her, he he assured himself. But that didn't mean he didn't have a right to be offended by her reaction. He huffed and folded his arms. "You didn't seem so averse to the notion last night," he muttered under his breath, turning away from the girl who had so inexplicably wounded his pride.

"What?" Penny's humor had entirely subsided, and there was a certain dangerous undertone to her question that made Sheldon wonder if perhaps she had heard him after all.

"Nothing," he responded stiffly. If she hadn't heard him, there was certainly no chance that he would repeat the sentiment, knowing well enough that the woman would probably respond in anger.

"Fine, whatever." Penny's tone was just as stiff as his own, Sheldon noted. "Why don't you get out, okay?"

Sheldon turned back to face her, lifting an eyebrow. "It hasn't been half an hour yet," he began. "If I leave now, there's a risk of—"

"I'm gonna get in the shower," Penny interrupted, her voice laced with ice. Sheldon was almost certain now that she had heard his remark. "I really hope you're gone when I get out." She stood up, setting her hands defiantly on her hips, and shot him a look that, if he hadn't any knowledge of thermodynamics, Sheldon might have believed to have lowered the temperature of the room by several degrees. Then she stormed into the bathroom, leaving one very confused theoretical physicist standing in the middle of the room, staring after her.

_I probably shouldn't save said that,_ he reflected before turning to the door. Experience told him that it was best to take a threat from Penny seriously, and so, looking about in vain one more time for his missing long-sleeved shirt, he strode across the room with appallingly bare arms and opened the door to leave—only to collide with none other than a very shocked Leonard Hofstadter.

"Sheldon!?"


	4. Chapter 4

Sheldon accepted Leonard's outstretched hand and stood, staring numbly at his shocked friend. He opened his mouth automatically, expecting words to pour out, but when none did, he realized that he had no idea what to say. As Leonard continued to watch him with a vaguely horrified question, the tall scientist decided that he had to say _something_. "I didn't see you there," he blurted out stupidly. He mentally slapped himself a moment later as he realized how monumentally pointless his statement was. Fortunately, however, Leonard didn't seem to be aware of the irrelevance of the comment; indeed, Sheldon couldn't be sure if his friend was even aware that he had spoken. "Leonard?" he asked tentatively.

The shorted man opened and closed his mouth several times before finally choking out a question. "What were you doing in Penny's room?"

Inwardly, Sheldon groaned. Naturally, Leonard had to pick the one question he could not easily evade. "I..." he sighed. Penny was going to hate him for it, but he really couldn't do anything but tell the truth. After all, how was he supposed to come up with an acceptable deception under this kind of pressure? "Leonard, there's something I believe you will want to know."

"No kidding," Leonard spluttered. "We were looking for you all morning! I wanna know why you were in Penny's room."

"Come with me," Sheldon directed. I'll tell you in my room. I need to change my clothing, and it's probably best if you're sitting when I explain the situation to you." Leonard nodded numbly and followed him. While Sheldon really did want to get into fresh clothing as soon as possible, and while he did think that Leonard would be better off it he took the news sitting down, the reality was that he was stalling for time, desperately hoping that on the way, he'd be able to come up with something besides the truth to tell his friend.

Unfortunately, a trip three doors down proved insufficient, and as they entered the hotel room, Sheldon was just as stumped as before. Leonard sank into the chair in the corner of the room, staring up at the taller scientist expectantly. "Well?"

Realizing that there was no way out from here, Sheldon took a deep breath and sat down on the bed. "As you may know, I had, against my better judgment, quite a bit to drink last night." Leonard nodded. "As I recall, both you and Penny insisted that the alcohol would help me to 'loosen up'."

"Are you trying to change the subject?"

Sheldon resisted the urge to respond in the affirmative. "I am simply pointing out that what follows in my narrative is a result of my intoxication, and as such, you may consider yourself partly to blame."

"Oh, God," Leonard moaned weakly. Sheldon noticed that Leonard's face had taken on a rather pallid hue. He dimly suspected his own face might be similarly colored.

Swallowing hard, he forced himself to continue. "The truth is, Leonard, the bed I awoke in this morning was not my own."

if Leonard had been pale before, he was positively bleached now. "W-whose was it?" he stammered.

Sheldon's brow crinkled in confusion at the question. Was it not obvious that he meant Penny's? Just as he was about to say as much, however, an idea struck him—one which he was quite certain was his most brilliant one yet. "I don't know her name," he declared, fighting the smugness off of his face as he admired his own cleverness. "I didn't recognize her. Needless to say, this came as quite a shock to me."

Leonard blinked rapidly as his brain processed this new and vital piece of information. "You... woke up in a stranger's bed?"

"That is correct," Sheldon responded.

Leonard shook his head in disbelief. "Did anything... happen?"

Sheldon recalled the conversation between Leonard and Penny that he'd overheard just earlier that day. It occurred to him that forcing Leonard to eat his own words (as well as a gallon of ice cream) might bring him back into good favor with Penny, a state he was anxious to return to as he recalled the last major tizzy they'd been in (she'd ruined his laundry night!). Surely it couldn't hurt to admit this much to Leonard, since Penny was not associated with this version of the story. "If you are referring to sexual relations, then yes."

For a good minute, Leonard was rendered speechless, and Sheldon was quite content to enjoy his companion's trauma. Finally, however, Leonard managed, "Penny's gonna have a field day with this." His self-pity was short-lived, however. "Wait a minute," he started, frowning. "That story only makes sense if Penny was the woman you woke up with."

For a brief moment, Sheldon was filled with panic before he forced himself to calm down and get back to his story. "I'm not finished," he explained, eye twitching as he tried to relax. "As I said before, I was shocked by what happened, and as the situation was entirely alien to me, I decided to ask advice from someone who had more experience in such circumstances. Naturally, Penny was my first choice, so I came to her. I had just finished speaking with her about the matter when I encountered you in the hallway. So you see, it really all fits together nicely." Sheldon gave himself a mental pat on the back, certain that there had been no contradictions to speak of in his story.

"I guess that does make sense." Leonard looked as though he wanted to protest further, but he remained quiet, and Sheldon felt a surge of triumph at completing his first successful spontaneous lie. "So what happened to your shirt?"

"I couldn't find it," Sheldon responded in irritation, rubbing his arms and shuddering at the feeling of his bare skin. "Why exactly were you heading to Penny's room? I was under the impression that you had already left for the convention.

"Oh, I guess Penny told you that, huh? We were about to leave, but I wanted to go back and make sure she was okay. She seemed kind of... off when I talked to her earlier. I think she's hiding something." Leonard caught Sheldon's eye and he squinted at his friend. "Sheldon, when you talked to her, did you notice anything strange?"

Sheldon considered the question. It would probably work out best if he let Leonard think that he'd been imagining things. "She did not seem out of the ordinary to me," he finally pronounced.

"Huh." Leonard frowned thoughtfully. "Just the same, I think we should go and make sure she's okay." He stood up. "You coming?"

Sheldon was about to point out that he had hygienic matters to attend to when it occurred to him that Penny was unaware of his story. Considering her role in the explanation, it wouldn't do to let Leonard talk to her without making sure she knew what he'd claimed. Of course, she was still angry at him, and Sheldon did not doubt that she would be displeased to see him back at her room so soon. Not to mention, he wasn't sure exactly how he was to communicate his version of events to her without letting Leonard catch on. He gritted his teeth. This was much more complicated than he cared for. Still, he didn't really have much choice. He stood up and nodded to Leonard. "Yes," Sheldon responded decisively. "I will accompany you."

"Okay, let's go," Leonard said, and the two men left the room, one concerned for his friend, and the other concerned for his life.


	5. Chapter 5

Penny let out a small sigh as she stepped into the shower, turning the faucet to maximum heat. As the hot water rolled down her skin, she tried to relax and look back at the morning's events with at least some semblance of rationality. But really, it was difficult to do that, when her morning had, since the moment she awoke, been anything _but_ rational. Still, the heat and the steam and the oh so desperately needed feeling of _cleanliness_ (because that morning, Penny was sure she'd never felt dirtier in her life) did help, and after a few minutes, the young would-be actress found herself beginning to unwind.

She poured a generous glob of shampoo into her hand from the miniature complimentary hotel bottle, wincing at the acrid smell (she was used to fruity and flowery scented bath items), and mused over the morning's events as she rubbed the soapy goop into her golden hair.

It all seemed like something out of some sort of campy romance movie, she admitted to herself, unable to resist a tiny grin at the notion. Seriously, though! Waking up in Las Vegas, married to the most annoying man she'd ever known? It was the stuff of cheesy chick flicks and Harlequin novels (both of which she'd admit with some goading to enjoy). But it was certainly not the sort of thing she'd ever have expected to ever witness in real life, let alone experience. Of course, the comparison only carried so far before failing. Penny was quite sure that there wasn't a thing on Earth that would bring she and Sheldon together in a 'happily ever after'. Even entertaining the notion was a bit beyond her grasp, and as a headache began to form, she forced the idea out of her mind. Her mind wandered back to the last thing Sheldon had said before she kicked him out. Penny felt anger beginning to bubble up inside of her as she mulled over his insinuation, but before her ire could stew for long , it was washed away by confusion.

It wasn't as though she'd never heard men say things like that to her in such a way before. In fact, ever since she'd moved to California to pursue her dream of acting, the young blonde had found an alarming number of her boyfriends making leering remarks about their sexual encounters with her – sometimes before anything had even happened. Penny had always tried to ignore it when her dates spoke like this, putting it out of her mind and assuring herself that it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't like they were _really_ objectifying her or anything, she'd always insisted to her inner critic when the thought came up. It was just the way guys were, wasn't it? Yet somehow, a trait that she would have fought to forgive in any other man was inexplicably infuriating in Sheldon. And to make matters worse, Penny didn't really know why.

_Maybe,_ she supposed, _I'm just not used to Sheldon acting like a guy._ She twirled a sudsy loop of hair around her finger thoughtfully. It was true that the socially inept genius was not one she'd typically (perhaps even ever) seen act in a manner which would be considered standard for men. Frankly, there weren't all that many times when Penny had seen Sheldon behave in a way comparable to an average _human_. Since day one, his atypical behavior had confused and intrigued her, and though Leonard implied often enough that Sheldon would be a more appealing friend if he was more normal, Penny couldn't imagine herself befriending a Sheldon who was not... well, Sheldon.

She bit her lip as she rinsed the shampoo from her hair. Maybe she'd been too harsh on him. After all, Penny realized guiltily, it might have been just a _little_ insulting to suggest that she'd never be interested in him. Especially after waking up as his wife (she tried not to think about the fact that all alcohol really did was lower one's inhibitions, not change their interests). She recalled the look on his face when she'd laughed at him, and remorse welled up inside of her as she pictured his confused and even a little bit hurt expression. The man had never been able to hide his emotions very well, even when he tried.

Penny shut the water off and stepped out of the shower, once more wrapping herself in the fluffy white bathrobe. Maybe she owed Sheldon an apology. A knock on the door punctuated the silence just as Penny came to this conclusion, and she supposed that it was probably Sheldon, who would be, if she knew him at all, waiting at her door to demand the very apology she'd considered offering. Somehow, the notion that he might expect it dampened her contrition. Rolling her eyes, she plodded across the room and swung open the door.

"Oh." Her eyes darted between the two men before her, and the young blonde felt a lump rise in her throat as she wondered why the pair would be at her door together.

"Hey, Penny," Leonard greeted with an uncertain half-smile. "I just... well, earlier, when I talked to you, you seemed kind of tense. We want to make sure you're okay."

Sheldon snorted derisively. "_You _want to make sure she's okay. As I told you, I don't see a need for concern."

Penny frowned. What was going on? She glanced anxiously at Sheldon, who met her eyes with a slightly alarmed look. Her trepidation doubled as she wondered if Leonard somehow knew what had happened. Swallowing back her worries, she decided to try and play it cool. "I don't know what you mean," she answered as nonchalantly as she could manage. "Nothing interesting has even happened today." She forced a smile onto her face, faltering a moment later and suspecting that she may have made a mistake as Leonard's brows furrowed. Behind him, Sheldon's eyes grew wide, and his eyebrows shot so high that they nearly met his hairline. Hands raised, he began to make frantic, panicked gestures, stopping abruptly only when Leonard glanced at him. The diversion was short lived; a moment later, Leonard's gaze swung back to Penny.

"Nothing interesting?" The short scientist stared at his neighbor in disbelief. "Surely you think it's at least noteworthy that Sheldon had _sex_ last night?"

Sheldon opened his mouth to speak, no doubt to criticize his friend's incredulity, but stopped short as Penny's wrathful scowl bore down on him. She spoke in a low, dangerous voice. _"You told him?"_ The lanky physicist visibly shrank away, and Penny felt a small amount of satisfaction that she was able to intimidate him, even if the feeling was overridden a moment later by her growing fury. Penny turned to glower at Leonard who, for his part, seemed confused. Nevertheless, he too was cowed by her anger. "What exactly did he tell you?" she demanded.

Leonard avoided her gaze, intensely uncomfortable with the situation. "N-nothing he didn't tell you, I'm sure," he stammered. "But why are you angry?" Her eyes bulged, and he added quickly, before his bravery faltered, "It's not like it's any of your business who he tells it to..."

Penny raised a fist, and might have decked Leonard if Sheldon hadn't butted in desperately. "I told him I woke up in a stranger's bed," he blurted out, wrenching his eyes shut. Penny blinked and stared up at Sheldon, her balled fist slowly dropping as she processed his words.

_Crap!_

With the immediate threat of violence removed, Leonard drew himself back up to his full height, looking between Penny and Sheldon in perplexity. He hesitated, then asked in a quiet voice, "What did you think he told me?"

There was an awful, sickening silence as Penny grasped desperately for a reasonable reply. When none came, she buried her face in her hands and began to weep, leaving the two men in her doorway to stare awkwardly as she sank to the floor and mourned.

Leonard was the first to shake himself from his stupor, squatting down on the floor beside Penny and laying a hesitant hand on her shoulder as he attempted to pacify her. "Come on, Penny. Please don't cry. I'm sure... whatever it is, it can't be that bad." Behind him, Sheldon huffed, still unmoved from his standing position.

"Among other things, she's worried about how you might react to a piece of information, and given that you haven't heard said information, you're in no position to guarantee that your response wouldn't be 'that bad'."

Leonard pouted. "Oh, come on. Penny's my friend! Whatever it is, I'm sure I won't freak out. I mean, unless she's an alien or something, it can't be that big a deal." Penny sobbed loudly, and Leonard blanched. "Oh God, you're not an alien, are you?"

"Don't be stupid," Sheldon scoffed.

Leonard raised his arms defensively. "What? I'm not stupid. The way she reacted to that, I just thought she might be... okay, fine," he conceded as he reflected upon his words. "That was stupid of me." He directed hid attention back to Penny. "But that doesn't change the fact that whatever it is, I'm here for you, Penny." The pretty blonde sniffled, then lowered her hands, revealing puffy eyes, a red nose, and tear stained cheeks.

"I must look like a total mess," she muttered, rubbing away her tears with one hand.

"No, of course not," Leonard assured her, at the same time that Sheldon responded in the affirmative. He placed his own hand over her free one in what he hoped was a consoling gesture. "Penny, I just want you to know that no matter what, I..." the bespectacled genius trailed off, running his thumb slowly over one of Penny's fingers. "Penny, what is this?" He dropped his hand back to his side and looked fixedly at the small sliver of gold wrapped around his neighbor's finger.

"It's a ring, Leonard. Surely your cognitive functions aren't lacking so much that you're unable to recognize such a commonplace object." Leonard's head snapped around and he glared at Sheldon, who had dropped down to kneel beside him at some point during the stream of platitudes.

"I know it's a ring, _Sheldon,"_ Leonard responded crossly.

"Then why ask?" Sheldon demanded. Penny couldn't help but smile to herself as she realized just what Sheldon was doing. He was distracting Leonard and trying to change the subject. _I could kiss him. But then,_ she mused, _Leonard would definitely catch on to us._ It didn't occur to the blonde to question her mind's use of the word 'us'.

Leonard, it seemed, wasn't going to be deterred. "I wanted to know," he retorted hotly, "why she's wearing a _wedding ring._"

Penny inwardly sighed. It seemed that one way or another, there wasn't anything they could do to put Leonard off. "Sheldon," she said softly, gazing up at the physicist, "I think we have to tell him."

"We need to do no such thing!" Sheldon protested. "As Benjamin Franklin aptly pointed out, the only things certain in life are death and taxes." Penny's look became entreating, and Sheldon whined. "Must we really? I assure you, I have spent much of this morning envisioning such a scenario, and not once has it ended well in my mind."

"Tell me what?" Leonard finally interjected. He was more lost than ever before, and for all the world, resembled nothing more than a confused puppy.

Sheldon sighed. "Penny is not the only one present wearing a ring." He held out his left hand, displaying his own wedding band to Leonard, whose mouth had formed into a perfect 'O' shape. "I'm sure you can, as the colloquial goes, 'do the math.'"

It was a good minute before a ghostlike Leonard finally found his voice. When he did manage to speak, however, only two words tumbled from his mouth.

"Holy shit."


	6. Chapter 6

Though there were a great many adjectives that would have accurately described the scene in the hotel hallway, 'happy' was not one of them. 'Relaxed', 'pleasant', 'ordinary', and 'amusing' were also poor word choices. Sheldon, if pressed for an appropriate term, would have gone with 'horrific'. But then, perhaps his personal stake in the situation addled his perspective. He eyed Penny, whose normally sunny face reflected all the turbulence and worry that he felt. It wasn't a look that suited her at all.

Leonard, for his part, had contributed very little to the atmosphere. Beyond a muttered expletive, he'd done little but stare and occasionally blink. Sheldon found himself annoyed at his friend's apparent inability to process the issue at hand. _I suppose,_ he decided with an inward sigh,_ that it's upon me to address this situation._ "Leonard, you may wish to consider closing your mouth at some point in the near future."

Leonard's mouth snapped shut and he shook his head. After gathering his wits sufficiently, his eyes narrowed. "So what is this, some kind of sick, elaborate joke?"

"Of course not!" Penny snapped. She glared at him accusingly. "You know, you're a crappy friend. 'Oh, it's not that bad. I promise not to freak out.' What the hell?"

Leonard flinched, taken aback by his neighbor's sudden anger. "I've known you for over a year," he stated defensively. "And I've known Sheldon for even longer. And in all that time, I've seen absolutely _no_ indication that you guys would ever be interested in each other."

"Maybe you didn't look hard enough," Sheldon retorted before he could stop himself. _Where did that come from?_ he wondered. In all honesty, he was pretty sure he'd missed those indicators, too. And yet, here he was, absurdly trying to defend his marriage with Penny.

Leonard shook his head in disbelief. "This is nuts. It was just a drunk hookup, right?"

_Yes,_ Sheldon wanted to say, but he clamped his mouth shut as Penny shot him a warning look. Confusion flitted through his mind and he wondered what she was up to.

"Actually, Leonard, it wasn't. Not really, anyway." Sheldon shot her a look of pure alarm. What was she doing? Surely she hadn't come to believe otherwise. Just earlier that morning, she'd laughed off the idea of having sex with him, and now, here she was telling Leonard that their marriage was more than 'just a drunk hookup'. Sheldon balled his hands into fists, trying to make sense of things.

"What do you mean?" Leonard asked weakly.

Penny grinned an annoyingly devious grin, and Sheldon withered. He'd seen that look often enough to know that trouble was right around the corner. "Well, sweetie, the thing is... Sheldon and I have been secretly seeing each other for the last three months."

Sheldon immediately opened his mouth to protest the blatant lie. What could possibly have led her to believe that it was an acceptable deception? "That isn't at a-hhh!" His protests were cut off as Penny slipped her hand into his and dug her nails into his palm, eliciting a pained yelp. Sheldon met her eyes and was given a fierce, "don't-think-of-defying-me-or-I'll-hogtie-and-castrate-you" glare. Shrinking back, he meekly looked at Leonard, who was eying them suspiciously. "What Penny says is correct," he mumbled.

Leonard folded his arms disbelievingly. "There's no way that's true. Sheldon sucks at keeping secrets, and you guys would never date each other."

Sheldon decided to jump in. If he wasn't going to be given a choice about involving himself in this lie, the least he could do was fill in any holes in the story. "I anticipated that the news would be received poorly. That's why we kept it secret. Furthermore, it seems that when it comes to matters of importance, I'm quite capable of keeping secrets." He hesitated before putting a twitching arm around Penny's shoulders for effect.

"Why would you guys want to date?" Leonard demanded. "Sheldon, you don't even like women!"

"I like Penny," Sheldon responded easily. He wasn't surprised to realize as he said the words that he meant them. He'd long ago come to consider Penny a good friend of his, though the events of that morning had muddled the capacity of the term 'like'.

"Yeah, but not as a partner!" Leonard spluttered.

"I don't believe that it is up to you." Sheldon answered evenly, wondering why it bothered him so much to see Leonard refusing to believe something that wasn't even true.

Leonard made a frustrated noise before turning to Penny. "What about you?" he asked accusingly. "You're not into guys like Sheldon. You made that pretty clear before."

"What, you mean because I'm not interested in you?" Penny retorted. Her fingers curled around Sheldon's arm.

Sheldon felt his anxiety slowly turning to an annoyed agitation as Leonard continued to argue against their supposed relationship. Disbelief was to be expected, but Leonard seemed downright angry at the revelation. A sudden realization struck the tall physicist, and he stared at his friend. "You're jealous," he stated suddenly.

"Jealous?" Leonard echoed. He choked out an unconvincing laugh.

"Of course. You've lusted endlessly after Penny since the day you met her." Sheldon considered the implications of this new realization. Already, he'd had concerns about Penny's new and unexpected lie, but factoring in Leonard's jealousy, Sheldon's discomfort intensified tenfold. He felt a strange twinge in the pit of his stomach that he didn't encounter very often; guilt. Frowning, he turned to Penny. "Penny, I'm really not comfortable with the direction this conversation is headed in at all." He glanced briefly at Leonard, who cocked an eyebrow at him. Gritting his teeth, the lanky scientist hooked his hand around Penny's elbow. "I believe we need a moment alone." Leonard nodded after a moment, and Penny followed Sheldon back into her hotel room.

"What exactly is your goal in convincing Leonard that we have been romantically involved for the past three months?" Sheldon demanded, drawing himself up to his full height as he spoke.

Penny grinned sheepishly, much to his chagrin. What right did she have to be grinning at a time like this? "Well, it's like you said. Leonard hasn't left me alone since I met you guys. I want him to move on, y'know?"

Sheldon snorted. "And how will this farce advance that goal? He hasn't been deterred by any of your previous boyfriends."

Penny smirked. "But you're not a boyfriend. You're a husband."

Sheldon shook his head. "Your 'plan' is laughably flimsy. Do you intend for us to remain married indeterminately?"

Penny shrugged and sat down on the bed. "At least until Leonard moves on."

"That could take months – even years," Sheldon argued. "Certainly enough time for him to notice that we are not living together or behaving in any other ways like a married couple. Even in his blatant social ineptitude, I believe he'd recognize that the marriage is staged."

Penny pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Well, we could actually pretend to be married, I guess."

Sheldon scoffed. "Please Penny, try to be serious. In order to present a convincing marriage, we would have to live together and engage in public acts of intimacy. I have no desire to be in a casual relationship, let alone a committed marriage. What reason could I possibly have to agree to this plan?"

"Let me ask you a question. What does Leonard do when I start dating a new guy?"

Sheldon sighed, looking at the floor. "He sulks and listens to terrible music and tries to buy a cat."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"Well of course it does!" Sheldon snapped. Then he paused. "I suppose this would put an end to that." He turned on Penny. "But it brings up a new issue to be addressed. I can only assume that you wish to continue dating other men, correct?"

Of course," Penny replied with a laugh. "We're only pretending to be together."

Sheldon shrugged off the momentary irritation that came over him at her words. "You don't think Leonard would become suspicious if you continued to date other men during this supposed marriage?"

"Oh." Penny thought about the matter for a moment before perking up. "I just won't bring them home. And if I go out, I'll just say I'm hanging out with friends. Leonard won't know a thing."

Sheldon was astonished as he found himself seriously considering Penny's proposal. She was the last sort of person he'd ever consider as a roommate (let alone partner) under normal circumstances, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that with the proper rules set in place, it might actually be a workable situation. "As it isn't in my power to kick Leonard out, and it would be impossible to fool Leonard if you moved in with me, I would have to move to your apartment."

Penny shrugged. "That'd be okay, I guess."

"I wasn't finished," Sheldon interjected. "If we are to go through with this, ground rules must be laid out. You'll have to let me clean whenever I want."

"Fine."

"And I can sit wherever I want."

"Okay."

"And—" Sheldon glanced warily at Penny, "absolutely no whistling will be permitted."

"Huh?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "I will draw up a contract outlining my full terms of agreement this afternoon. Until then, we will proceed under the assumption that you agree to my terms. If you decide that you do not agree, the lie will be terminated. Understood?"

"Yeah," Penny replied with a nod, feeling a bit overwhelmed. _Boy, he doesn't do anything by halves!_

"In that case, I believe Leonard is still waiting for us to return to our prior conversation."

"Right," Penny agreed, standing up. She suddenly felt uncertain about the plan. She'd seen Sheldon's contracts before, and didn't doubt that one for such a big deal would be monstrous. Maybe Leonard was right – maybe they were too different to ever be believed as a couple. But what could she do but try? She glanced up in surprise as Sheldon gently placed his hand on the small of her back.

"Leave this to me." Sheldon's tone was smooth and even. "I believe I can fabricate a story that will fill in all the holes Leonard may attempt to poke in your claims. And," he added, blue eyes softening, "I assure you that I will give my full effort in making this relationship believable."

Penny felt herself melting. It was hardly a romantic promise, given the circumstances, but she found herself touched all the same. Of course, it was completely like Sheldon Cooper to give his all in anything he did, but Penny couldn't help but feel a small delight at his words. After all, he was doing this for her. She smiled up at him as he opened the door once more.


	7. Chapter 7

When the pair left Penny's hotel room once more, they found Leonard pacing in front of the doorway in agitation, muttering under his breath. As Sheldon shut the door behind him, Leonard glanced up, his expression souring. "This still doesn't make sense," he whined. "Even if you guys were dating for three months, you couldn't possibly think that's enough time to go and get married."

Penny looked up at Sheldon, remembering his promise to take the reigns on their fabricated story. He nodded down at her in understanding, then directed his attention to Leonard. "You're right," he acknowledged. "Three months is not adequate at all." When Leonard blinked in surprise, clearly startled by Sheldon's agreement, the taller scientist continued, "Neither one of us planned for this to happen. The wedding was, at least, the result of our inebriation. However," he rushed on, as Leonard opened his mouth to speak, "We intend to work this out to the best of our abilities."

Leonard gaped at his friend. "So, what, you're going to stay married after dating for _three months? _Really?"

"Really," Penny interjected, her eyes narrowing. "Not everything good that happens is planned, you know." Inwardly, she marveled at the irony of her statement; everything that had happened that day so far was unplanned, and she was still trying to work out how much of it she really considered to be 'good'.

Leonard shook his head in wonder. "This is really just unbelievable, you know that?"

"It doesn't seem that there's anything we can do to further convince you," Sheldon remarked dryly. "You will have to come to terms with this on your own."

Leonard opened and closed his mouth several times before he settled on a response. "What are you going to tell Howard and Raj?"

Sheldon paused, clearly taken aback by the question. "I suppose," he answered carefully after several moments of deliberation, "that we'll tell them the same thing we told you. We can hardly keep our marriage a secret from them." Penny glanced up at him in alarm, but he shook his head, almost imperceptibly, and she realized that they didn't really have a choice. There was no way they could just tell Leonard they were married and then try to keep the who thing secret from the other guys, and she definitely didn't trust them with the truth.

Leonard choked on a laugh. "How do you think they'll take the news?"

"Hopefully better than you," Penny snapped in irritation. "Maybe _they'll_ actually act like good friends." Leonard stiffened, and Penny wondered if perhaps she'd been too hard on him. Why was she getting so worked up over his cynicism? The whole thing was a lie, after all. Still, for whatever reasons lurked in her subconscious, Penny couldn't help but glare at her neighbor, wishing he would be a little more understanding.

Leonard, however, did not seem to have any intention of being understanding. "Fine. You're right. I'm not being supportive. But you know what? I don't think that _good friends_ would go out and get married behind each others' backs!" With that parting shot, the curly-haired scientist stormed away, leaving Penny and Sheldon staring after him in shock.

Penny sighed and turned to look up at Sheldon. "That could have gone better," she observed dryly.

"Agreed," Sheldon replied. "I suggest we go and look for Raj and Howard. If I know Leonard at all, he's probably gone off to tell them himself in an attempt to embitter them towards us as a form of petty retaliation, a ploy which I fear may prove successful unless we talk to them first."

Penny shook his head. "Leonard already knows where they are, so there's no way we'll get to them first. We should stay away from them for a while and give them a chance to get over the shock."

Sheldon paused, apparently considering the proposal, before nodding. "You're right. They'll probably be more receptive to our explanations after they've had a chance to digest the news."

Penny slipped her hand into Sheldon's, shaking her head in bemusement as he stiffened, and whispered confidentially, "Not to mention, I've had just about as much of this fake confessing as I can take." She winked up at Sheldon, who rolled his eyes in response.

"If we're avoiding Raj and Howard, what do you propose we do? We can't go back to the convention, or we risk encountering them again. By the way," he added, pausing to glare at Penny, "I will expect some form of compensation for what I'm missing at the convention."

"You would," Penny quipped. Then, a wicked ideas came into her head and she looked up at Sheldon, her eyes gleaming. "Maybe we should just go back into my room and have some more sex," she decided.

Sheldon froze, his eyes bugging out. "I beg your pardon?" he squeaked, looking mildly panicked.

Penny gazed up at him innocently. "We could kill two birds with one stone. It'll keep us busy and away from the convention, and compensate you for missing it."

His mouth opened and closed several times, but no sound came out. Just when it looked like he was about to pass out from shock, however, Penny erupted into a fit of laughter. "Oh man, you should have seen the look on your face! I thought you were gonna faint!" Wild with giggles, she buried her face in Sheldon's shirt, her whole body shaking with laughter.

Sheldon pushed her away from himself sharply. _"That wasn't funny!"_ he hissed, startling the blonde out of her amusement. "Why do you derive so much enjoyment from making others uncomfortable?" he demanded hotly, blue eyes smoldering with anger.

Penny blinked, taken completely aback. "I—"

"You might be able to use other men's libido against them, but not me," he continued shrilly, voice rising by nearly an octave as he seethed. "Maybe you should have married Leonard instead. At least he _likes_ being humiliated by you!"

Penny recoiled as though she'd been slapped, and Sheldon stormed off to his own room, only a few doors down. She watched numbly as he jammed his room card into the card reader, slamming the door shut behind him after he entered. The blonde squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep tears from falling free as she entered her own room, guilt gnawing furiously at her. _Why did I do that?_ she wondered, throwing herself down on the bed. _Why do I sabotage every good relationship I'm in? _She wept into her pillow, intending to drown herself in self-pity, until the full impact of her thought hit her, and she sat up, sobs abating into quiet sniffles as she turned over her own words in her head.

"Relationship?" she quietly wondered aloud. "_Good _relationship?" Penny picked up the pillow, hugging it to her chest as she mulled over this disturbing thought. _I just got caught up in pretending,_ she decided after a while. _It doesn't mean anything._ She moved to put the pillow back, halting as her eyes fell upon the space beneath it. There, lying in a rumpled heap, was the blue long-sleeved shirt that Sheldon had worn the day before. _He didn't find it because it was under the pillow, _she realized, picking the article of clothing up and examining it with detached curiosity. _I should return it._

Making up her mind, Penny stood up and crossed the room. She was going to give Sheldon's shirt back to him and apologize. _No fighting,_ she told herself sternly as she approached Sheldon's room. _No deflecting. Just take the blame like a mature adult._ She strode to the door confidently, but faltered as she raised her hand to knock. What if he didn't accept the apology? What if he was still angry? What if he decided to abandon the whole fake marriage and tell everyone that it was one big sham to get Leonard to leave her alone? Penny cringed, but forcefully pushed back the wave of self-pity that washed over her. The most she could do was apologize – after that, it was up to Sheldon. Taking in a deep breath to steady herself, Penny rapped sharply on the door.

A few seconds later, the door opened – just a few inches, enough to reveal a narrowed blue eye glaring down at her. "Go away," Sheldon ordered coldly. "I have no wish to be mocked further." He began to shut the door and, panicking, Penny shoved her hand in the space before it closed. There was a brief moment as Penny's eyes widened, before she let out a piercing howl, and Sheldon whipped the door open, staring in disbelief.

"Why did you do that?" he demanded, eyes flooding with panic. "Are you okay!?"

Penny bit her lip in a vain attempt to keep pain-inspired curses from spilling from her mouth as tears spilled down her face. "I didn't want you to close the door on me," she gasped between expletives, squeezing her eyes shut.

"But that's exactly what happened!" Sheldon protested, pulling Penny into his room and steering the pain-addled woman to the bed.

"Not what I meant," Penny grunted through gritted teeth. She turned to look up at Sheldon, his face blurred by the tears in her eyes.

"Never mind that," Sheldon said, shaking his head. "Is your hand broken?"

Penny swallowed hard and flexed her fingers, wincing as she did so. "I don't think so." A nasty red welt was beginning to swell up across her hand, but even so, the throbbing pain was beginning to subside slightly. "It just hurts a lot."

Sheldon gently took her injured hand in his, grasping it by the wrist to avoid hurting her. "It doesn't appear broken," he agreed softly after a moment. "I'll get the first aid kit."

"First aid kit?" Penny echoed as he stood, crossing the room and pulling his suitcase out from the closet.

"Of course," Sheldon replied, kneeling in front of the suitcase as he rifled through its contents. "Surely you don't travel without one, do you?" He pulled a blue plastic box out and popped it open.

Penny laughed softly, finding that Sheldon's demeanor helped to distract her from the pain. A moment later Sheldon returned to the bed and sat down beside her, holding a pill bottle and an elastic bandage.

"Here," he said, holding out the bottle. "It's Ibuprofen. The bottle recommends two, but doctors often prescribe quadruple strength pills, so you shouldn't be at risk taking four." Penny took the bottle after a moment, staring at Sheldon in wonder as she spilled four tablets into her hand. Why was he being so nice to her? Didn't he remember how furious he'd been only five minutes ago? "Do you need water for those?" Sheldon asked. Penny shook her head after a moment, popping the pills into her mouth and swallowing them dry.

"You shouldn't do that," he rebuked gently. "You could choke." Before Penny could respond, he changed the subject. "Hold out your hand," he ordered. "I'll bandage it."

Penny stared at him before gathering her wits together and doing as she was told. She watched as he carefully wrapped the bandage around her injury, noting with awe that there wasn't even so much as an eye twitch to indicate his previous anger. "Why are you doing this?" she asked quietly. "Aren't you mad at me?"

Sheldon did not look up to answer the question. "Whether I'm angry or not, I can't ignore your injury." He finished wrapping her hand and met her gaze evenly. "How do you feel?"

"Better," Penny responded. "Thank you."

"Good." Sheldon stood up and folded his arms. "Now, what was so important that you risked breaking your hand for it?"

Penny flushed and held out the shirt which she realized she had been clutching to her chest until then. "Here," she mumbled. "This is yours."

Sheldon stared at her, stupefied. "You injured your hand just to return my shirt?"

Her blush grew deeper. "I didn't mean to get hurt," she amended angrily, looking anywhere but at Sheldon. Then, remembering her self-promise, she sighed and continued in a subdued tone, "I also wanted to apologize for what I said."

There was a long stretch of silence before Sheldon sat down beside her again. "Understood," he stated simply.

Penny looked up at him expectantly. "That's it? You forgive me?"

Sheldon nodded. "Yes. And I apologize for shutting the door on your hand, even if it was your own fault."

Penny laughed and shook her head. Leave it to Sheldon. Leaning her head against his shoulder, Penny looked up at the physicist. "You're a good guy," she said after a moment. "Thank you."

The corners of his mouth quirked slightly upwards as he met her eyes. "What shall we do now? And don't suggest anything you don't mean," he added quickly.

Penny laughed and grinned up at him. "Don't worry," she assured him. "I wasn't going to."


End file.
